Stop moving
Stop rushing me
You moron!
What?
You're wondering, what the hell is going on?
Let's go back two days
It's all because of this fool
He won a prize in Beijing
One Week Grand Tour to Taiwan
The moment I bumped into him
was the start of my worst nightmare
"Beijing Security Guard - Ocean"
"Crime Boss - Z"
"Female Assassins"
"Crazy Tour Guide - Idol"
"Clueless Tourist - Jane"
"Local Mafia- Gangster Wu"
"Taipei Security Guard - Jay"
- Stop, right there - Don't run
Watch the painting
Don't damage the painting
The painting's gone! Reques for backup!
Stay where you are!
Don't ruin it!
Stay at your position
Repeat, stay at your position
Jay, why did you do that?
What the. . .
Jay
Why did you leave your position?
I can handle this all by myself
Security is all about teamwork
If the team can't keep up with me
It's not my fault
What's important is that I got it back
Just look at the painting
Take a good long look
In three days' time
In three days this treasure will be
exhibited at the National Palace Museum
and this is how you'll protect it?
Today's result is a FAIL
You have three hours to prep
and we'll do the drill again
Dismissed!
Respect the team.
Stop the one man act
Priceless classic painting in cross-strait exhibition. . .
is a first-time ever
expected to draw large tourist crowds
from China to come to Taiwan
This is the captain speaking
- Here's the water, Miss. - Thank you.
. . .an area of turbulence
Hey!
That's what this is for
Thank you
Are flights always so bumpy?
Sometimes. . .it's bumpier than riding in a car
What?
So. . .sorry
This airline is very safe
Just breathe
Yah!
Welcome to Taiwan
I'm Tour Guide Idol from the
"Best Agency in Taiwan"
Idol takes away your worries
Idol never lets you be bored
Dearest guests from China
I am your humble guide
My name is Idol
This Idol follows you everywhere
Anytime Anywhere
Whatever you please
Idol will whisk you there
You are so lucky to have me
Because I am a certified 5-star guide
My rating is of the highest rank
Higher than even Superman can fly
But. . .
My one rule
is that nobody leaves the group
Nobody travels independently
If you dare leave the group
I will personally hunt you down
Of course our tour itself is wonderful
- Are you all right? - You won't forget it
I emphasize again, stick with the group
No running off...hey, what are you doing?
I said "No running off"
Here we are at the National Palace Museum
Idol takes away all your worries
Idol whisks you everywhere
We have arrived at the National Palace Museum
Don't wander off alone
Don't try to get ahead of Idol
Back off back off, get behind me
And keep up!
The ones behind, don't get lost
Come away
Here we are, still at the National Palace Museum
Keep up! Keep up!
Keep moving along
Sorry, are you ok?
Let me clean that for you
What? I didn't do it on purpose
Ready?
Wow, this looks so real
Makes me feel hungry
Ok, time's up
My dear Chinese guests
Time flies when you're having fun
We have more exciting locations waiting
The vacation of a lifetime
But I'm not finished here yet
That's right, we've only been in here for minutes
All I saw was a cabbage and a piece of pork
Always rushing us
Pay attention!
Please!
Don't forget our most important rule
Don't leave the group, don't wander off alone
Before we go
I'd like to remind you of my special theory
When you travel, always be merry
and spend every cent you carry
So, before we leave
and spend every cent you carry
So, before we leave
Remember to support the Taiwan economy, ok?
Let's go
Take a photo of me
Photos are not allowed
Oh, they won't know, come on
My first trip to Taiwan...half an hour only
so rushed!
First time to Taiwan, and this is it?
Yeah
What a bummer
Sir, this is Tamshui pearl
1 00% Authentic! Buy it or regret it
Where are you from?
Beijing, right?
Beijing is great!
Beijing men are generous
Buy more than one
Miss, your skin is so smooth
This suits you just perfectly
I'll give you a deal if you buy twenty
Discount just for you
Where can I buy a pearl necklace?
Over there. Go! Go! Go!
Choose whichever one you want
Can I have a look at this one?
Ok
Just a second
Here
I bought it
I need to go to the washroom
Go! Go! Go!
These pearls are too small
Give me bigger ones
Take them out
Watch out, security's ahead
What exactly is Jay's problem?
How would I know?
Because of him, we haven't rested in days
What you gonna do if we have a break?
Go for a walk
Let's eat
Ok
Code is 1 -2-0-3
We're in
Where's Jay?
I don't know
Captain John calling Jay
Reply when you get this
Calling Captain John
The treasure's been stolen
Send back up immediately
No, you get back to the team right now
I know what I'm doing, I'll take care of it
You think you can? Get back here!
Hey!
Stop!
Get out of there, now!
Robbery!
Sorry
Robbery!
How dare you in broad daylight?
Don't you run
Are you crazy?
Don't you run!
Stop!
Thank you
You're welcome
I'm so lucky
Let's go!
Get on the bus
We're going to our next stop
Hurry and get on the bus
That's all
Get on the bus, here we go
Where do you think you're going?
Let me go!
Security guard
You know I'm a security guard and you still run?
No, I'm the security
What's this?
See this?
I'm on a mission
You're...security?
What about those two girls?
Thieves!
Are you working with them?
I don't even know them
I just thought they needed help
Then what are you doing here?
I. . . I'm on vacation
My tour bus is over there
Huh?! Where's the bus?
The bus?!
Oh no, I'm separated from my tour group
Wait, there's a girl in your group
with a lot of painting scrolls, right?
You mean the girl with big eyes and a camera?
That's the one
What do you want with her?
You screwed up my mission, come with me
Help! Kidnap!
I'm innocent!
Stop struggling
Let me go
Where's your hotel?
I don't remember
We're the "Grand Tour"
Jay and these two women
Is he working with them?
He's caught on camera
- and now he's gone - Shut it!
Just find him
Ten years ago
When my father was on his deathbed he told me
that his dream was to acquire this particular piece of treasure
He asked me if I would keep you two in the family business
He was sure that your skills would be of great value to me
But now
After three years of planning
Today we finally get to see what you're worth
I've gotta say
I wasn't very impressed!
No more mistakes
33, 34. . .35. . .36. . .37. . .38. . .38?
Stop!
Can you let me go?
Can I have a look?
Hey
Are they here?
Just ask
The guest registration is here
Look for my tour guide Idol
I don't see Idol anywhere
Do you remember or not?
I didn't say for sure it's this hotel
Look at the list again
Where are you?
I'm chasing down the treasure
By yourself?
I'm very close
If I find this Idol, I'll find the treasure
All right, let's figure this out
But first, you come back
Ok, right, I'll come back now
Let me go
Where are we?
Help!
Come back!
Corner him when he comes over
Don't let him go, got it?
"I will retrieve the treasure"
"and prove my innocence"
Help! Help!
Let me go, please!
Are you crazy?
If I'm crazy
it's all your fault
Fine, so you don't know the hotel name
Do you know where your next stop is?
Stop shouting
Let me think
I wrote down the schedule
I can't read simplified Chinese
Bummer
I'm still so tired from jet lag
Are you crazy, that's too loud
I have a bad ear, I can't hear properly
Then don't listen at all
"Deng Dwa-lang, Deng dwa-lang"
What does that mean?
Medicine to make you grow taller, a con
Hey, what's that for?
Just look at yourself
Don't touch, it's autographed by Wang Chien-ming
What? Yao Ming?
I like Yao Ming a lot too
Every day my fellow guards and I
would play basketball together
You're really a guard?
Senior security guard
I even teach Taichi every day
I'm warning you
You take me back to my tour right now
Or I'm going to be forced to show you
my Taichi
I'm looking for your tour group too
You said you're on a mission
What are you looking for?
Is this your boy?
That's ME!
You looked better as a child
That's my bro
I'm the OTHER one
Your brother?
My best bud who used to work with me
So that means your partner
That's right, we need partners in our jobs
He's gone
Out of the business?
Well, must be because of you
Don't tell me this
How can I call the cops?
Just keep quiet, help me find the guy
Don't I know I'm losing the 250k guarantee?
Don't I know I'm losing my license?
Yes, lost at the Museum, I already sent out his photo
I'm dying here
Please just help me find him
Excsue me
Is this someone's luggage?
I gotta hang up, a tourist is causing trouble
Just help
Hey, lady, I beg you
The bus is still in motion
Please sit down, it's dangerous
Are we missing someone?
What? No, no, no, not at all
Everybody is still here
Please sit down right now
But there was the guy in the red shirt
What guy in the red shirt?
I thought I saw...
It's your eye that's red. Sit down
or your eyes are going to get redder
Very dangerous, sit down right now
What now?
Do you need help?
Help?
Just get back in the car
Can you do it or not?
There's a saying
At home, rely on parents; traveling, rely on friends
If you need my help, just say the word
Push
You want to help? Then push
Push the car
I can push, no problem
But your attitude is the problem
I'm older than you, you should respect me
Just push the car
Just because I help doesn't mean you can order me around
Attitude is the key to working together
With your kind of attitude
PUSH the damn car!
Hey, look, this isn't working
We gotta synchronize
Listen to me
I say "Turn"
Then you turn on the engine
Turn!
I'm still here
Slow...slow down
Not yet
I'm not in the car yet!
"Headquarters"
Why don't you pick up?
Tell me honestly
What are you looking for?
None of your business
Look at yourself
You have no qualms ordering people around
But when I ask you a question, you never answer
How did your parents raise you?
My parents raised me just fine
None of your business
How is it none of my business?
I got lost from my tour because of you
Whose fault is it?
Seriously, man to man, what are you looking for?
Family heirloom
You could've shared with me earlier
How about this?
You help me find my tour group
Then I'll help you find your heirloom
Deal?
Sir
Have you seen a tour group from China?
Look around you, they're everywhere
Hey
How can you eat at a time like this?
This boss is really a nice guy
Treats me to sausage
Here's one for you, you want it?
That looks like my group's bus
It is my bus!
Let's get in the jeep
It's faster
It's right there
Sit tight
I'm... I'm still a virgin
Easy
Hey hey!
Stop!
Stop the bus right now!
Crazy bitch. . .
Almost there
Stop!
Stop the bus!
Take the wheel!
What?
No! No! No!
I can't do it
My dearest guests and customers
What you're looking at now
Ocean
is a popular street performance group
They are auditioning for the X Factor
Because they all love Britney Spears
Hey, is this yours?
But I still like Simon Cowell best
He's my number one!
Hello, 91 1 ?
Drive!
No! I haven't driven in years
Get your hands off me!
Dearest guests
Because you are from Great China
To serve you is my greatest honor
What does the bus driver live on?
I highly recommend
President's Green Tea
Try it!
Stop touching my ass
Where are you going?
Watch out
Did you hear anything?
Nothing
Just an illusion
Who are you?
Weren't you outside just now?
What are you doing inside?
Don't be nervous, everyone, stay calm
I gotta talk to my girlfriend
We just had a fight
What were you doing outside?
Proposing
Wow, crazy things people do for love...
Proposing death?
Get closer!
Miss, this case belongs to me, please return it
Mister, who's your girlfriend?
I have excellent ears
I heard what you said, ok?
Prove that this case belongs to you
And why is Ocean with you?
I...
Watch out, they're up there!
Up there!
No time to explain
No!
Bro
Be careful!
Let go!
Stop kicking!
Don't drop it!
Get outta here!
Where's the painting?
Now you're gonna get it
Mr. Ocean, I can't believe you're driving in Taiwan
What are you doing?
Get back here right now!
Don't' go!
If you don't come back, I'm ruined
You asshole!
Can they perform it one more time?
You think it's easy to coordinate a show like that?
Sorry, I lost my cool
It's ok
Please find it in your hearts to forgive me
Are you all right?
What's going on?
Where did Ocean go?
He should be fine
I will bring him back, don't worry
Sorry, I made a prank call
It's all a misunderstanding
Our tour group is doing fine
Everyone is very happy and enjoying the tour
And they love me as their perfect guide
Of course, not a single person is missing
Let me tell you
Leaving the tour is a serious offense
He's a simple guy
Please don't get him in any trouble
I took photos
I've got evidence for you right here
Don't tell anyone about him being missing
I promise to bring him back
Don't' worry
Can I borrow
Can I borrow your phone?
Hello?
Where did you drive off to?
Is my tour group still there?
Yes. Look in the jeep for the case
Oh yes, it's here
So this is your heirloom
That's right, keep it safe
Where are you?
Wait, let me see
I'm in the mountains
There is a beef noodle shop here
Stay where you are, I'm coming over
Stay there
Hello?
He hung up
My number's in there
Stay in touch
Have a seat
What do you want?
What did you say?
Foreigner
I said what do you want today?
What's good here?
My specialty is beef noodles
Spicy, non-spicy, you choose
You decide, whatever's good
Sure, coming right up
Thanks
Did you like the food?
Great, it's the best beef noodles I ever had
Thanks
That's 2500 dollars
How much?
2500 dollars
So expensive!
I left my wallet in the jeep
You think I'm a fool?
Fool!
You think you can get freebies?
Calm down, my money's in the car
It's in the car
Easy
I have money
It's there
Where's the money?
- Where is it? - Where's the money?
My money's gone
Where is it?
It got stolen
No money? Tear the car apart
No no, don't do that
I am not trying to con you
Con me?
Gentlemen talk with words, not with hands
Won't fight?
Let's talk this through
Talk?
Everybody, freeze!
I know Chinese kung-fu
Stop!
Why do you always get into trouble?
Bro, you came right on time
We can fight them off together
You got a friend
We got friends too
Coming~~~
Who wants a fight?
Awesome!
Where's the painting?
The painting?
It was there just now
My wallet got stolen too
Wait!
There was a guy with a mole on his nose
He looked really shady
I almost got killed
trying to get that case
and you're here eating beef noodles
What kind of loser security guard are you?
Don't blame it all on me
How did I know they were going to steal my stuff?
If I hadn't met you
I'd be enjoying Alishan by now
Alishan! Alishan! Alishan!
Don't kick my pineapple cakes
You are a loser guard with loser Taichi
Loser Taichi!
You wanna take me on?
Bring it!
Fuck!
You...
Get back here
If you are a man
get back here and fight
"Little Mermaid"
One more time
You're back
And you're flirting with girls, Little Mermaid
Who is calling me?
Stud!
Step out of the car, handsome
Come on
Get out
What do you want?
Your friend wanted info worth two betelnut packs
I'll pay for three
I found out where the thieves are
Really?
Thanks to this girl
Stop messing with him, Ma
You're her mother?
We don't look alike?
You do
Of course we do
I'll give you two free nuts
Please don't
No nuts, then how about kisses?
I'll take the nuts!
One more for you
Don't you Taiwanese all eat betelnuts?
Do you eat Peking Duck every day?
I'm very sorry
to have lost your heirloom
Why don't you call your fellow guards
and look for it together
Them?
Better to depend on myself
Look bro, I hate to say this
but you really need to change you're attitude
Don't be so proud
Even your best buddy left you
because he couldn't stand you anymore
How can you say that?
Do you know why he left?
Easy, easy
Slow down
Your friend came here to work?
It's a nice quiet cemetery
And your friend is...
This. . .
Yes, he really left me
He was my best buddy
Now he's here
He died?
Sorry, I didn't mean to blurt it out
I didn't know
A few years ago, we were on a mission
I followed orders
and stayed at my position
instead of taking charge of the situation
And my friend got killed
From then on, I swore to work alone
It's not that I don't trust a partner
But I'm afraid of losing another one
I guess I'm also lost from my group
But at least I won't get anybody else hurt
Right?
I think you are too hard on yourself
If your friend knew about this
He wouldn't want you to always go at it alone
The Chinese word "man" is written this way
One stroke on the left, one to the right
Supporting each other up, that's the meaning of "man"
What's that you've been wearing around your neck?
Let me show you this medallion
My ancestors were imperial guards
who fought foreign army in the Qing dynasty
This was a present from the emperor
Wow, such an honor
What martial arts do you do?
Taichi
Well, I just do a bit
I'm nothing like my ancestors
I thought about serving in the army
so as to bring honor to the family
but you know I've got this handicap
My bad left ear
Brother
I hope you can bless your best friend
to find his family heirloom
and bless me to get back to my group
Sorry for the eariler offense
Here's my respect
Pineapple cakes. . .
I will return to my tour
The girl told me yesterday
to ask for Brother Biao
He knows where everyone is
Young men
You're not doing it right
Let me show you the correct way to pray
You go that way, we'll look on both sides
All right
Ma'am
What do you want?
Is there a guy with a bowl haircut
and a mole on his nose
in this village?
I don't understand you
I mean
Sorry, sorry. He's crazy
Let's go
I found the place
You did?
Where?
What's this?
Transformers
Transformers?
Seriously?
Stop clapping, come in and look
Look for the guy
Great dance
He's the one
Stop right there
Stop
Third Price...Princes
Take that! Take that!
Who are you people?
Let me go
Wait till you meet our boss, he'll tell you
Get out
You're afraid of dogs?
No, not afraid, on the contrary...
Get inside
What you looking at?
Who are you people?
Why did you take the painting?
Shut up!
What the hell?
I read faces for over 20 years
I can tell right away you are criminals
You look innocent, but have evil thoughts
Nothing good can come out of you
No wonder you committed such a crime
What are you talking about?
Yeah, what are you talking about?
Take me as a fool? Show it to them
You may fool others
but not Gangster Wu
You did it, and now it's all on tape
Clear as day
You took the national treasure
Shameless idiots
Hey, isn't that you?
If I were in my younger days with a bad temper
I would've fed you to the dogs
You scum!
I don't even know him
Take them away
Boss, I'll take the painting upstairs
Here
Thank you for retrieving the painting
This is from our Museum
Please accept our gratitude
No way
I can't possibly take this
I'm just trying to be a good citizen
Take it back
What do I do with those two thieves?
Someone will arrest them later
Don't worry
We need to take the painting back now
Hope you will come to the exhibition
Of course
People who work at the museum really are different
Real high-class
Will you stop looking at the girls?
Didn't you say it was a heirloom?
How do you explain that video?
Dumbass, can't you see it was a training drill?
What?
Drill!
What did you say?
I said it was a drill
I don't believe anything you say anymore
What are you doing?
Stop moving, stop twisting
I'll just do it myself
What are you...
Crazy!
Why jump when you can just climb down
Slow down
Wait for me
What is in that box?
You better fess up!
Boss
That car just went by
Yes, that's the one! It drove by!
Those foreigners just go on Highway 78
Repeat
Highway 78
Hmm. . .why are they going to Kaohsiung?
That tall foreign guy
is the boss of those two women
They are international art thieves
We've been watching them for a long time
They stole a
400 year old painting being exhibited for the first time
400 years
That's priceless!
I was hoping to find it before tomorrow's exhibition
But now we have nothing
Both halves are stolen
and they've framed me
What?!
Why didn't you tell me the truth before?
Why did you say it's a family heirloom?
You little man
Don't be so proud, ok?
The meaning of "man" is to support each other
Fine, everything is my fault, ok!
Excellent
Look, let's not get into a big fight now
See this?
My ancestors were imperial guards
But me?
I'm just a regular Joe in Beijing
Even so, I dare not lose my family's face
A national treasure's been stolen
Ask not what your country
does for you; ask what you do for your country
Especially since we are both security guards
Stop moping about like a girl
As long as we work together
There will be a way
I am a top security guard
Ace
Cheer up!
Take this
It's cool and brand new
Now you're cool
I knew you wouldn't get far
So tell me the truth, what really happened?
I almost got the treasure back, but now it's gone
Thanks to you, what do you want now?
So you're really not the thieves?
A misunderstanding
This is a serious misunderstanding
Hear me out
I've been with this guy for two days
I guarantee upon my life
that he is not a criminal
Those foreigners are behind this theft
That's right
Get lost
Listen to me
Videotapes...
don't tell the truth anymore
That's right
I read faces for so many years
but I never read foreigners' faces
That's right
We are all on the same team, we shouldn't fight
This is the work of Z and his group
They have staged heists in the past
A celebrity thief
Wait
Didn't you say we looked innocent on the outside
but on the inside, we're...
One of a kind
You didn't hear me correctly
How did you know that I have a bad ear?
See? I do know how to read people
Listen, young men
I lost the treasure
So I will be responsible for getting it back
From now on
All my crew along the west coast of Taiwan
will work for you
Brotherhood
Awesome!
What does that mean?
It's a compliment
Right
Awesome-ness!
Dearest guests from China
1 23, you come to Taiwan
Taiwan has a famous Alishan
That's right, here we are, so very close
but since you saw it on pixel-perfect TV
We'll just drive right by
and see Alishan through the window
and let's go straight to Cape No.7
and write some love letters
isn't this a great idea?
So romantic and touching?
Agree? Agree?
Dearest guests, stay most calm
There's a little change in plan
If you don't like to hear me sing
Not a problem
Let me present to you my
Taiwan one-man show
Welcome to Taiwan Idol
You can sing, but can you dance?
Can you?
This is Ryan Seacrest here
I will teach you how to be an idol too
Keep an eye out for me
Three people
In a car
License plate 51 3503
That's right
Just shut up and listen
If you see a man and two women in a car
License plate 51 3503
Just stop the car right away
Gotta go
Hello? It's me
See three foreigners
in a car
Call me, ok?
Another problem?
No! No! No!
The thing is
Besides the treasure
I have a wallet
that was also stolen by your people
What?
That money is from my fellow guards
for me to buy them Taiwan souvenirs
Thief
What did I teach you?
How can you embarrass me like that?
This is it, right?
Yes, thank you
You!
I tried to change you with this mole
Here
Here's another good luck mole
See if it can make you a better person
And the hair
Are you still listening to the Beatles?
Get a perm!
What flavor do you want?
Mango
Make sure my boat's on time
The car you're looking for just drove into the harbor
Let me know what else to do
Thanks for your big help
I'll take over from here
That's all for today
Come visit me on the west coast some day
You hear that?
I think the thieves are trying to
deport form the Kaohsiung harbor
I will go and stop them
Ocean, you are here on vacation
This has nothing to do with you
Return to your tour
It's just gonna get more dangerous
I don't want you to get hurt
Brother
Since we call each other brothers now
Don't say a thing
You have that girl's number, right?
Call her
and get my tour guide on the phone
Do it
Hello?
Are you ok?
Yes, are you and Ocean ok?
Give the phone to the tour guide
Ocean wants to talk to him
Hold on
Idol, here
Hello?
Mr. Ocean
Didn't I tell you that our No. 1 rule is
never to wander off alone
Where are you?
What are you doing? Get back here right now
Do you have any idea the trouble you're in?
Idol
Listen to me
I know leaving the group is a serious offense
I'm sorry for all the trouble I've brought you
But please believe me
I didn't do anything illegal in Taiwan
I just have one last thing to help
and then I'll return tomorrow
But
If I never return due to some accident
Well, then I guess I owe you one
I'll pay you back in the next life
You can't pay me back
You know what you cost me?
Wandering off like this?
250 grand, not 25 dollars!
I have a family to support
Can you stop trying to bankrupt me?
Stop destroying me?
I'm dying here, again and again
Will you please come back?
Instantly, promptly, immediately. Right now!
Shut up!
You offend my friends, you offend me
Why are you harassing him over such a small amount?
Can't you handle it?
You shut up, who the hell are you?
Don't know me?
Listen carefully
I'm Gangster Wu
Gangster Wu?
As a tour guide, I've met all kinds
Stop your bull!
Listen
I had a dog once, I called him Little Gangster
Don't you dare play with fire
What goes around comes around
If you ever cross my path again
you'll know what to expect
Hello?
Are we bros?
If we are, then I'm in
You're even wearing my shirt
"Go kick some ass!"
My bro
Why can't I go in?
Not allowed
Calling back up, back up!
Wanna come in?
Cowboy?
You got a gang?
Call them, call them
You stinky little losers!
Go and stall them
There's a car behind
Leave it
Let it pass
Here, this way
Just leave it
It's following us?
I didn't mean it
I got one of them
It's me!
Watch out!
Awesome!
Watch out
This way this way
Lock it up
How?
Don't walk so fast
Do you know where they are?
My ass
Brother
Bro, you all right?
Watch his feet
You think I don't know that?
So you're the traitor?
No wonder the tapes got leaked
Hey, don't call me that
I only make 50k as a security guard
and not even a bonus last year
I got bills to pay
What can I do?
So you're a security guard too?
You certainly make more money than I ever have
But I'd never sell a national treasure for money
Stop wasting time
You be careful
Don't fret, I'll help you find him
West. . .your west
He's to your west
Didn't I tell you to watch his feet?
East side, east side, he's coming from the east
Don't you understand me?
What's with east and west, can't you just say right or left?
Sorry, that's how we say it in Beijing
Left, he's on the left
Didn't you say Left?
I meant my left
You stay out of this
I'll handle it myself
All right
Yes
You make 50k
I only make half that
I NEVER had a bonus
You cut my benefits
Talk behind my back
Never give me tips
Make me work overtime
Traitor
Here I come
Stop
I'll cut you guys 30%
No way!
What are you doing?
Hot
I'm hot too
Now way!
I'll count to three, and we'll jump
You are too crazy
1 . . .
2. . .
Don't
3. . .
Bro, why are you doing this to me?
Why? WHY? W-H-Y?
Bro
The most important thing in life, is to be happy
Why aren't we there yet?
Bro
Bro, you all right?
I'm fine
Stop
Wait
You stay put
I'll show him my Taichi
Bro
Thank you
How come I don't feel any pain?
What happened to me?
Are you ok?
It's not how much you hit, but how much you can take
Watch out!
Ocean! Ocean!
Bro!
Wake up, Ocean
Bro!
I knew I shouldn't have friends
I always get them hurt
I'm so sorry, so sorry
So sorry
Bro
What the. . .?
I thought you were a tough guy
but you cry like a girl
Wait for me
I'm hurt
Help me up
"Guard work together and retrieve national treasure"
Dearest guests
Time flies when you're having fun
Now is the time to say goodbye
Here's my business card for all of you
Bro
I'm right here
- Ocean - Wow, you're late
These souvenirs are for you
What can I say?
You still haven't visited many places
or tried much of our food
Bro
Stop right there
Come visit me in Beijing
You treated me to Taiwan beer
I'll treat you to Chinese wine
We will get properly drunk
Count me in
You guys chat
Miss Jane
Nice to meet you
You look nice
Wait
I told you I can hear everything, right?
Including what your heart is saying, ok?
Bro, is that ok now?
Yes, it's ok
Get lost
Closer, closer
Brother Wu
I will really miss you
If you come to Taiwan again
remember to visit me
Brother Wu
Of course
What are you doing?
Old age eyes
So you're the famous Idol
who gave my friends crap for 250k?
Dumbass!
And who are you?
Who am I?
Who?
Gangster Wu!
Gangster or Lobster
or Ghostbuster
You're the Wu who almost lost a national treasure
I know all about it
Boss
Idol offered us a grand tour of Taiwan
Times are changing fast
Get with the program
Let's go
You...
Being a tour guide is a better living
I'm heading off
I'll wait for you in Beijing
Take care
"Jane Zhang's Photography Exhibition"
Senior Guard Ocean Ni
had a very successful trip
to Taiwan
To honor his achievement
We are promoting him to a one-room apartment
Now you can look for a wife
Ocean, Ocean runs so deep!
Ocean, Ocean I'd love to keep!
You know, I already have a place to live
Why don't you
just give it to me in cash
and I'll share with the rest of the guards
and keep everyone happy
Also, I wanna ask
Can I please take off
the sponsor's red shirt now?
Rise